Why do we get angry?
When we get angry we are making a demand.
I demand you treat me with respect.
I demand you listen to me when I speak.
I demand you respect what is mine.
I demand an apology.
Anger is considered a secondary emotion following swiftly on the heels of anxiety, fear, frustration, and disappointment. Although some temperament types are more prone to anger than others, everyone experiences such feelings.
Rage and hatred develop when anger has not been dealt with in a healthy manner. These emotions may be vented through shouting, threatening, cursing, name calling or violence.
Turned inward, they ferment into jealously, fantasies or plans of vengeance, depression, cutting and suicidal thoughts.
Individuals who remind us of others who have betrayed or hurt us in the past may cause old feelings of anger, rage and hatred to come to the surface. If this is the case, the present emotion will most likely be excessive to what the situation indicates.
Intense anger is the product of dammed-up pain which has accumulated over a period of time. Such emotion is frequently expressed through behaviours such as fits of rage, violence, bullying, dangerous activities, cutting, or suicide attempts.
Good mental health requires that you learn to process your emotions in a constructive manner. To avoid excessive reactions such as rage and hatred it is crucial for anger to be released rather than suppressed.
Hand writing a letter to the one who has hurt you, expressing your emotions is helpful in releasing your anger. The act of writing out your thoughts enables your feelings flow freely.
After you have expressed your concerns, burn the letter or tear it up. But don’t deliver it. This is not an exercise of vengeance. It is simply for the purpose of releasing pent-up emotion.